I Am Life

The sun sets and the crashing of the waves lull me into a trance. The moon illuminates the waves as they crest and crash on the beach. I am at total peace. This is my sanctuary. I am alone, just me, the ocean and darkness.. I take a deep breath, taste the salt in the air and lean my head back against the palm tree I am sitting at. I look upward toward the heavens. Tiny stars dot the entire sky, from one horizon to the other. They twinkle and shine. My mind cannot comprehend the vastness of space; I sit there in utter awe and tranquility. A slight breeze blows my long hair back from my face and neck. It's warm and comforting. Mother Earth is gently caressing me. I close my eyes and listen to the surf pound the shore.

My mind wanders. I am standing on the edge of a cliff. I look down and see the ground thousands of feet below. The sheer rocky mountain that I am standing on is millions of years old. I feel honored to be standing on the very top of this majestic giant. I am humbled. I am a mere speck in time that will cease to exist in a flash. I absorbed the sheer insignificance of my existence. It does not bother me. I understand the rhythms of nature. My purpose comes from within. My worth must be created by my own thoughts and energy. Nature will simply take me when my body can no longer keep going. Then my essence will return to the elements of the earth.

I am amazed to see birds flying this high. The air is thin, yet they soar and dip, lost in the experience of flight. Birds live in the moment, with no worry of the future, or regrets of the past. I take heed and do the same. The sun is high in the sky, the warmth of it's rays tickle my exposed skin. I realize I am naked. No need for clothes, I am the only human alive. It feels good to stand there in the nude, soaking up the sun. I look out at the vastness of the planet. I can see distant mountains, green valleys, and sapphire lakes and rivers . The earth without man is a raw and utterly beautiful. Untainted, clean and pure.

I lift my body upwards and stretch my arms out as far as they will go. The wind makes me sway back and forth. I close my eyes and drink in the scent of nature. It's musk is full of life. I can smell raw earth, the recent rains, and the cycle of life. I take one last glance at the expansive scenery in front of me and then let go. Instead of falling, I soar. I am flying. The wind whips through my hair. The sun beats down on my back. I turn in the direction of the birds flying nearby. I have never felt so wonderful. I am alive, I am in the moment. I glide in a lazy circle, joining my feathered friends. They accept me as one of their own. I instinctively know their next move and we fly in total unison. The joy I feel threatens to burst from my chest. I am one with nature. I am nature. I feel complete tranquility and peace like I never have before. I am unique. I am wonderful. I am free.

I wake up in time to watch the sun rise. It's glow brightens as it clears the horizon. The ocean is tame, the tides receded leaving gently lapping fingers of water brushing the shore. The warmth of the sun illuminates my face. Tears rolls down my face at the beauty before me. I am in awe. Nature has given me the gift of life. I AM life.

How To Tell If Someone Is REALLY Interested In You

I have struggled with this one myself, the signs can be subtle or almost nonexistent, depending on the personality of the person you are interested in.  When you find yourself interested in someone, you give them a higher degree of attention you don't normally give others.  You start looking to see if that attention is appreciated and reciprocated.  Sometimes the signals you get are mixed or you can't decipher their behavior.  Next thing you know, you feel confused and unsure of yourself.  You might even feel stupid or like giving up.  We have all been there. So here are some signs that you can look for.

Eye contact- Most people make at least some sort of eye contact, even if it's brief. When people are interested in someone, they tend to make more eye contact then normal.  The more interested they are, the more they might scan a room looking for you, or want to look at your face, and you will find that you two lock eyes occasionally. When people sense you are interested and they don't feel the same, they will usually AVOID eye contact. Eye contact (or lack thereof) is one of the biggest ways people communicate non-verbally, and it's huge when it comes to flirting. I've even heard that the pupils dilate when people are around a person they are attracted to.

Body language- This one is HUGE! Body language speaks volumes.  It can be more telling than the words a person speaks.  I can tell a lot about how a person is feeling just by looking at the way they stand/sit etc.  When you two are talking, are they facing you, or is their body angled away from you?  Are their arms crossed? Are they leaning toward you?  Do they keep looking past you, or act antsy?  If someone is interested and engaged, their body will mimic yours.  Their body language will show they are open and interested. If their arms and legs are crossed, they are leaning away, or they are standing about a football field away, they are not into you.

Facial expressions- When someone is flirting with you, they will show it in their expressions whether they mean to or not.  Smiling and showing their teeth is a good indication that person is happy.  Just like with body language people mirror facial expressions, so if you are smiling and happy, you will have an effect on the person you are with.  Do they mirror your smiles? Are their eye brows relaxed? How people feel shows the most in nonverbal cues, so note their expressions, even if they are brief.  If you hinted at going out together sometime, and their eyebrows pulled together in a scowl, or their mouth turned down, that is a bad sign. Make sure you pay attention to what their face says, even if their words might be saying otherwise.

Effort- You can tell a lot by how much effort someone puts into you.  Even if the person doesn't have the guts to say anything, their actions will tell you anyway.  Guys will tend to be chivalrous, and hurry to open the door for you, walk you to your car, help you carry things that seem heavy, etc.  Women will offer advice, laugh heartily at your jokes, tend to show empathy and kindness, or offer to help with small tasks.  When people can't get someone off their mind, they start finding excuses to spend more time with them, so you may find that you're running into your crush a lot more than normal. People don't normally expend time and energy into something or someone they have no interest in, so watch for cues that they are devoting energy and time your way.

Appearance- Now this is one that can be a little misleading because there is absolutely no proof that any changes in appearance are for your benefit, however, if you notice that ever since you took an interest, they have been paying more attention to their appearance, it can indicate they are interested.  They might have recently had a haircut, bought new clothes, or simply tried to appear a little neater.  If you noticed the woman you're interested in never wore lipstick before, and now she's putting it on every day, that could be a sign.  If a guy runs out and buys new shoes to replace his ratty ones, that could be a sign.  Watch for clues they are paying more attention to their appearance.  Make sure you let them know you noticed, by complimenting or commenting. "That's a great color on you, is that new?"

Conversation- Pay attention to the type of things this person says.  For instance, are they mentioning their relationship status?  If they emphasize or talk about the fact they are single, it's a good indication they are dropping tidbits they hope you will pick up.  Does the conversation drift toward sex or relationship topics? People talk about things that are on their mind. If they steer the conversation towards how much they hate people in general or constantly put a negative spin on things, they might be unconsciously trying to create distance between the two of you.

If your gut is telling you this person is interested, then go with it. Don't sit around for too long analyzing the clues and cues, because eventually they will lose interest and move on.  Gather some courage and ask them out. Something as simple as going out for coffee or a gathering can get the ball rolling toward romance. Also, don't forget to note your own eye contact, body language, effort, appearance and conversation topics. You want to make sure you give off the right signals as well.

Good luck and keep trying. Sometimes persistence and patience pays off.

Blaming The Rape Victim Becomes New Trend In The Media

This afternoon after running some errands, I come home and flip on my favorite news channel Headline News (HLN) and mindlessly listen to the news while reading and sending emails.  One of the stories catches my attention and I find myself watching a news report about a fifteen-year- old boy named Chandler Brookins who attended his brother's basketball game at Campbell High School in Smyrna, GA on February 16th.

The stories goes onto report that the girl accuses Brookins of forcing her into the bathroom, putting her in a headlock and rapes her.  The alleged victim is 14-years-old and neither accused or victim attends Campbell High.  Brookins comes from a middle class family and the son of a school principal. That's all fine and daaandy, but they acted like 'poor poor Chandler'.  They mentioned he's in shock and can't believe this is happening.  How the only evidence (from what they can tell from the police report) is his testimony, and that maybe the sex was consensual.

I almost came unglued! First of all, let me point something out here.  Here is this white kid, from a pretty well-off family, whose good-looking and the son of a principal, but what if the boy was a different ethnicity and from a poor family? Would the news report have been different and less sympathetic? I'm going to go out on a limb here and say- HELL YES!!! Does it make a difference that his father is an associate principal at the same school Chandler attends?  Does that mean the crime wasn't possible because of who his father is? Just because he's a good looking white kid, he is presumed innocent? HELL NO! But HLN does not see it that way.

The other detail that HNN failed to mention was that he has been charged with rape, aggravated sexual assault,  and false imprisonment. New details also emerged today about him having put her in a headlock on the floor of the bathroom. They forgot to mention that little detail.  HNN made it sound like she's accusing him of raping her standing up.However they did mention that he will be charged as an adult in this case and brought an "expert" (can't recall the woman's name) on to say that without scratches or bruises for evidence, it will be difficult to prove that the sex wasn't consensual. The whole story was spun in a way that cast doubt on the credibility and truthfulness of the victim!

Shame on you HLN! Obviously there is enough evidence to take to the District Attorney, to get charges filed in this case.  Most District Attorney's won't even consider filing charges until they have collected enough substantial evidence on a case.

So let's take a look at some statistics I found...Here is the link if you're interested.
Rape Statistics
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Somewhere in America, a woman is raped every 2 minutes, according to the U.S. Department of Justice.

In 1995, 354,670 women were the victims of a rape or sexual assault. (National Crime Victimization Survey. Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Department of Justice, 1996.)

Over the last two years, more than 787,000 women were the victim of a rape or sexual assault. (National Crime Victimization Survey. Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S.Department of Justice, 1996.)

The FBI estimates that 72 of every 100,000 females in the United States were raped last year. (Federal Bureau of Investigation, Uniform Crime Statistics, 1996.)

 One of the most startling aspects of sex crimes is how many go unreported. The most common reasons given by women for not reporting these crimes are the belief that it is a private or personal matter and the fear of reprisal from the assailant.

Approximately 28% of victims are raped by husbands or boyfriends, 35% by acquaintances, and 5% by other relatives. (Violence against Women, Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Dept. of Justice, 1994)

The FBI estimates that only 37% of all rapes are reported to the police. U.S. Justice Department statistics are even lower, with only 26% of all rapes or attempted rapes being reported to law enforcement officials.

In 1994-1995, only 251,560 rapes and sexual assaults were reported to law enforcement officials -- less than one in every three. (National Crime Victimization Survey, Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Department of Justice, 1996.)

An overwhelming majority of rape service agencies believe that public education about rape, and expanded counseling and advocacy services for rape victims, would be effective in increasing the willingness of victims to report rapes to the police. (Rape in America, 1992, National Victim Center with Crime Victims Research and Treatment Center.) 
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I don't know what the truth is here. I don't know the history between the victim and the accused, so I can't say one way or another who is ultimately telling the truth. I don't know all the details of the case. That is not my job. I leave that to our justice system.  My beef is with big news media.  Just report the news, stop slanting it, stop trying to persuade your audience to believe that a 14-year-old girl is lying. If she is, hopefully lack of evidence can clear Chandler Brookins name. Otherwise, report the facts and leave it at that. Also-

DON'T LEAVE OUT FACTS SO YOUR CRAP-ASS SLANT WILL BE STRONGER! 


The only other thing I am going to say is, it is a damn shame if the way the media portrays these stories influences whether or not rape victims come forward.  What message are we sending to women in this country?  Don't report it because we won't believe you anyway? It's better to stay quiet than take the chance the blame will be turned around on you?  This whole thing has just made me sick! It should make you sick too! One in four women will be raped at some point in their lifetime, so it's safe to say you will know someone who has been victimized and the chances are they will suffer in silence.

It's just really sad that people don't wait for the justice system to clear the accused, and instead blame the victim!


On a side note, I went to CNN's website and could not find anything on this story, only what they showed on T.V. If anyone can find it, I would very appreciative. You might want to also look up another recent story where an 11 yr-old-girl is blamed for being raped by 18 different men ranged in age from 14-27. 
11-year-old girl, alleged victim of Texas gang-rape. blamed for attack at town hall meeting

Should a 12 Year Old Be Tried As An Adult?

12-year-old Colo. boy in custody, parents shot dead, siblings wounded
So this story really struck a nerve with me, given the brutality of the crime and the age of the accused.  So here's the low-down on the story if you haven't heard about it.

A twelve year old living in Burlington, Colorado on March 1, 2011 shot and killed his 50 year old father and 51 year old mother, and stabbed his 5 year old sister and stabbed and shot his 9 year old brother.  He then called 911 himself and said that three people in the home had been shot. He is the only suspect in the case.

The boy comes from a deeply religious upbringing and the all seven children were home schooled.  Fellow church members said the family had not talked about any recent changes that might have upset the boy.  This came as a total shock the community because there were no signs of trouble by outward appearances and the family seemed happy and active in the community.

So my question is- should a twelve year old be tried as an adult?  Does implementing a harsher sentence on a child lower the number of crimes committed by youth, or does it just institutionalize the child and make any sort of rehabilitation obsolete?

I found an article that shows some stats and studies regarding this very issue and seems to take the stance that harsher sentences do not produce the intended results. Here's the article...

Juvenile Justice: Does Treating Kids Like Adults Make A Difference?

On the other side of the debate, many people believe that children SHOULD be tried as adults for heinous crimes, such as murder, rape and attempted murder. Believing if the child was old enough to commit the crime they are old enough to be punished for it. Here's an article that supports trying children as adults.

Juvenile Criminals Must Be Tried As Adults

So here are some of the differences in regards to juvenile courts vs. the adult court system. Juvenile cases are held in private, whereas adult cases are public. In adult cases the focus is on the crime and the punishment, in juvenile cases the focus is more on the child's needs, in regards to rehabilitation, supervision, and treatment.  Juvenile courts do not have the authority to order punishment, adult courts sentence people based on their offense and usually serve prison terms. Generally juvenile courts are more lenient than those for adults.

However, there are certain benefits to being tried as an adult that the juvenile court system does not provide. Most juvenile court cases do not have a jury like the adult system. Jurors might be more sympathetic to a minor.  The jail and court system is more crowded and clogged and the process could be hurried along faster, granting a lighter sentence.

The harsh realities of the adult court system can out weight the benefits though.  The minor will most likely serve a prison term in an adult prison, and can be sentenced to life. Records are harder to seal once the prison term is complete, and the child would not receive the same rehabilitation efforts that juvenile courts can provide. The child could become institutionalized from an early age and be more likely to re-offend once  released from prison.

I personally find it hard to believe that a child of twelve-years-old understands to the capacity that an adult does, the consequences and finality of their actions. How many times as a child did you do something that was mean and horrible, only because at that very moment you were angry?  I realize we did not take it to the same level or degree that this boy who recently made the news did, but looking back, were you mature enough to understand your own behavior and the motives that fueled your bad behavior? I simply think it's wrong for us to treat children under the same laws as adults.  There are no parallels that justify trying a 12 year old boy, and sentencing him like an adult. Because of his growth and development, he is NOT an adult, far from it. The part of the brain called the prefrontal cortex that is responsible for emotion-control and decision making is not even fully developed until the age of 25. Imagine how immature this part of the brain is, in a twelve year old! What were the circumstances leading up to the murders? Was this child being physically or sexually abused?  I think it is wrong across the board for a child twelve years of age to be tried and sentenced like an adult. 

Here is a link about teen brain development vs. adult brain development.

Inside The Teenage Brain

I would like to read your opinions on this matter, so feel free to chime in. Everyone has different view points and I want to hear yours! All I ask is that people who participate in the discussion maintain a sense of dignity and respect.